All of my ramblings on one site ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Free Yourself Wholly We quit smoking, and all I can do is cry. I can't concentrate, I have a hard time listening and loving like I should be, like I know I do and have the abilityI to. Hopefully this is the worst that it gets. My relationship is jeopardized by the absence of cigarettes. The last moment of the night bonding, the first moments of the morning bonding. Going for walks to smoke. Nothing seems to have a meaning anymore, when I know it does. The fact that I'm masking all of these emotions with cigarettes makes me only more motivated to quit and strengthen my dependence for only my natural mental processing. I made a never-ending list of reasons why I should quit smoking, and they're all legitimate and reasonable. They should all be enough reason to quit and break free of my mental set. I also made a list twice as long of things I could do instead of smoking. What I can't seem to figure out is what I can do when I'm say, driving, or at work. What can I do to keep my mind off of it in situations like that? I ran this morning, and it hurt like hell. I wanted to vomit and lay down and die. I'm practicing breathing and try to get full on water to keep down my cravings for food while also detoxifying the poison I've let build up in my system after so many years. It's proven that quitting smoking is harder than quitting heroin. My thing with smoking is that it is so sentimental in my relationship. Have sex, have a smoke. Eat a lovely dinner, have a smoke. Watch a good movie or finish a game of God of War or Littlebig Planet, have a victory smoke. You couldn't possibly understand if you've never been a smoker. 8:59 p.m. - 2012-11-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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