All of my ramblings on one site


WAP (whack ass President)

I couldn't sleep, so here I am. Maybe doing a brain vomit will help. I tried (twice) to count down from 100 in her majesty Queen Elizabeth's soothing and reassuring voice (it normally does the trick every time) to no avail. Prozac has put my clit into a coma, so I can't even masturbate to fall asleep anymore. Guess I'll write instead.

It's been my experience so far that you really don't get what you pay for when switching from a community college to a state college. I'm paying 4x more for professors who couldn't care less about the course, and one who even told us not to send him emails with questions. I wish you could get a masters degree at community colleges. The professors seem to be way more invested in their position as teachers, with way more passion for the subject. Wooffff.

What else?

I logged back into Facebook tonight, as I periodically do, though I keep it deactivated 99.9% of the time, to kill time and try to bore myself to sleep. To see who in my graduating class has been recently divorced (all of them, and I only graduated 8 years ago). Has my one sketchy ex had more secret babies? Is Chris Crocker's Meemaw doing okay? How's that one girl I met up with a few times from Reddit doing now? (She's since moved back to Texas). All my old friends sweet babies (Can you believe Jarrod is a dad? I was soooo in love with him in 6th grade) What about that kid I met from Runescape in 2005 who lived in New Jersey? I even went as far back as Myspace to look for people, and found a whole treasure trove of an entire generation stuck in time. I'm talking angel bites, birds-eye selfies, alliterations for names (Tyler Toxicity, Sarah Suicide, *barf*), flip phone mirror selfies (bonus if the flash is on). I'm glad we're all past that phase.

I recently found a Pink Floyd The Wall movie poster from Cannes Film Festival in 1982, frame and all, for $30. It's my newest prized posession. I also found another George Carlin vinyl from 1972, the 3rd in my collection. His records are always the cheapest in my haul but always the most valuable to me.

It feels good to be so unbothered by things anymore. And I mean the little things, like Muttonchops and the I-don't-do-drama lady (she does) talking down to me at work, or when Devin puts the dishes away wrong (big plates go under the little plates god damnit!), or customers screaming at me, or all the guilt I've amassed my whole life for some reason. It leaves so much more room to grieve about actual important shit, like the fires that are swallowing peoples homes, livestock, pets, grandparents, wildlife, businesses that people put their entire being into to get off the ground. Even the dirt is on fire. The hurricanes that are doing the same thing on the other side of the country. On top of that, you've got a global pandemic that hasn't slowed down, and yet everyone wants to resume like it's just part of our lives now. On top of that, we still have police brutalizing black and brown people and getting away with it. And on top of THAT, you've got someone in charge who downplays the severity of an actual PANDEMIC, both biological and systematic, to forward their politcal agenda, and people are eating this shit up like it's KFC hand delivered by Jesus himself! What in the fuck right now America?

I just totally don't understand peoples support of him. Forget all else, just the fact that he said he "prefers them not captured", referring to John McCain being a POW in Vietnam, is disgusting enough and you can never, ever come back from a statement as vile as that. It's amazing how many finger-licken assault-tootin commando-Kevins and support-the-troops-Susans would support an asshat that blatantly disrespects the military in such a filthy way. On the other hand, it's also amazing how many body-positive-Becca's and hyper-feminist-Hailey's body shame the fuck out of him, for being "orange", "dumpy", having a toupe, being generally unphotogenic, whatever, and slut shaming his wife. Both sides are festering with hypocrites and lunatics.

I'm a hypocrite, too.

I think that's all.

2:13 a.m. - 2020-09-16


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