All of my ramblings on one site ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If you love something, let it go My bank account is being raped by a thief. It's really terrible. I can't keep track of what I've actually spent, and what they've spent for me. This is what it's like to be an adult, huh? Like trying to get your loved ones to grow up with you. Is that selfish? Get a job, a license. My acid reflux has been ruining every morning for me, tearing up my esophagus, making me vomit, and giving me merciless chest pain. I don't want to die, I want to take action. Money is an issue, and so is patience. I'm hoping these stressful times in college will be made up for when I become an addiction counselor. Minimum wage.. That's fair. Turning peoples lives around will pay me no more than bagging groceries. My job has built a wall of extreme hatred for black people, people in general. People who abuse good service, government money. Who the fuck do these people think they are? I understand, fuck the government. But letting your little niglets run around the store and buy candy and soda with your food stamps that you are supposed to SUPPORT your children with, not make them another statistic in our obese country. And wedding cakes?! Are you serious? And you? How dare you take advantage of such a good person. He was basically in love with you, would have done anything in the world that it took to please your selfish ass. You told him you liked him, but you couldn't let go of your cheating boyfriend who will be spending up to five years in jail. You're not over him, but you'll have sex with someone elses boyfriend? And to think you changed, that you were a good person. I was really starting to think you and me could be friends, that I could get so much closer to Devins family, you being his sister and all. I loved all four of us hanging out. I had the most fun I'd had with anyone when it was the four of us. I was hoping you and Luke would finally be something more. That we could go on double dates, that Luke could finally be happy and have something to live for besides school and work. And you fucking blew it. You had him wrapped around your silly fingers, you had his heart in the palm of your hand. Why does it seem like you WANT to ruin everything that would be good for you? Are you just in love with danger and pain? I don't get it, I just don't. I myself am heartbroken that you could pull such a selfish and cruel act. Luke can't even think of his future, because you were such a big part of it. I don't want anything to do with you anymore, and I'm glad you got a car so that I wouldn't have to pick you up anymore. I wouldn't be able to stand it. To hear you talk, laugh, breathe. To even see you will be extremely upsetting. Thanks for the memories I guess. My life is changing so much every day. Everything that happens traumatizes me a little more, molds me into something else. My promotion will play a huge role in my wall for blocking out emotions. Yesterday, I cried for the first time in months. Not that nothing bad or cry-worthy hasn't happened, but I just don't see the need for it. I've become bitter. Devin lets no emotion in or out, he feels no sympathy. And he's right for that. I guess I've picked up from it. I felt so silly crying by a lake, like a little kid. It didn't feel good. It wasn't needed. Does anyone even go on here anymore? Anyway, I was recently promoted to front office staff at my Publix. After much begging and smiling and greeting and helping people who didn't deserve it. It finally happened. And I'm not so sure I like it. Maybe not for now, because I don't know much except how to do returns and work the lottery machine. 11:32 a.m. - 2012-11-05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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