All of my ramblings on one site

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Meet Me in Montauk

Whenever I hear a loud obnoxious car driving (screaming) down the street, I realize you really did come over.
Then I realize it's not you.
Then I realize I'm stupid.
Then I realize I'm putting myself down.
Then I realize I'm disoppointing my therapist.
Then I realize I'm too broke to even have a therapist.
Then I realize I need to talk to my manager about my big promotion (Bagger-->Cashier whoooooo0o0o0o0oooo).
Then I realize I did that this morning.
Then I realize she told me to smile more or else they'll be reluctant to show me to the public.
And while she's talking I realize my manager has a lisp.
And then I realize I'm not listening to anything she's saying.
And then I realize that this is why they won't promote me.
And then I realize that I'm too broke to afford therapy.
And then I realize I go to therapy partially because of my social skills.
Then I realize how stupid I looked at Dom's last night.
Then I realized you're still not here.
Then I realized I'm stupid for having high hopes.
Then I realize I'm going out later.
Then I realize that you are too. With your, what I consider, ex.
Then I realize I'm putting myself down again.
Then I realize I'm going out later, so all of these wild naked running barbaric paranoid thoughts will disappear
And then I realize I could see you tomorrow
Then I realize I have to go back to my moms
Then I realize that I hate being at my moms
Then I realize I hate being at my dads
Then I realize my phones been silent for hours
Then I realize my mouth has been shut for hours
Then I realize my hands been empty for hours
Then I realize I miss you
Then I realize you're still not here
Then I realize I'm going to have to live with it
Then I realize nothing in my life is going according to plan
Then I realize that my therapist gave me a "goals ladder"
Then I realize I haven't filled it out yet
Then I realized my therapists going to be disoppointed in me again
Then I realize I have homework to do
Then I realize schools monday
Then I realize I'm not very excited for it
Then I realize my life is routine as fuck
Then I realize I have to leave this town.
In August.

In August.. two lane blacktop

4:15 p.m. - 2011-01-29

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The past the present, and the future