All of my ramblings on one site

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Bro My God

Things I need to get through the day at work:

Five hour energy
Arnold Palmer tea
Pallmall red 100's

Things I should switch to to save money and/or be healthier:

Unisom (healthy/save$)
Water (healthy/save$)
Richwoods (save$)

Things I've been planning on buying for ever but never had coupons for them:

Detox body cleanser
Vitamins (lots of vitamins)
Better shoes for work
Unisom
etcetcetc

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I can't wait to get past the things it doesn't feel like I'll live through:

Devins court date
Getting a car
Working at Publix
Getting into college

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I can't wait to have my own place

I've got it mostly figured out

I'm going to be the most annoying coupon lady ever. Publix has taught me how important money conservation is, partially because I make none there.

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I think I'll skip having kids and getting married, and just do me my whole life.

I've been observing married couples

Most of them never make eye contact, or even talk to each other when they're together. They don't look or talk to each other the way me and Devin do. And it scares me to death. I don't ever want to have to go through sleeping in the same bed with someone I know doesn't love me anymore and/or has fickle intentions.

Being with someone who you have so many memories with and then them just giving up and letting everything you've been through together go to waste.

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I wonder sometimes when I'm at work if everyone else is just as miserable as I am. I'm lucky to get the hours I do. Some get longer, which is more money but more dreadful by far, and some get less, so they get paid less.

I stand there and have wars with myself and my customers in my head, and wonder if it'll always be like that. And wonder how everyone else pulls through so well. I never complain to co-workers, and most don't either, so it makes me think that we all do feel the same. I couldn't be the only one. A lot of people have it worse.

I feel like I'm the only one who forgets peoples stamps, who tells them about a false sale, who gives the wrong change, who comes off as a bitter and stale robot.

With numbers and questions and sizes and sales and the amount of customers waiting and produce codes and rude comments running off the walls in my head, social acceptence doesn't even register to me until I lay in bed at night and play the day through my head again.

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"Bri, you're a mess"
"It's going to be worth it when I get a car"
"Not when you're hooked on five hour energies and stressed beyond belief trying to afford gas and insurance"

Guess you're right. But it is going to be worth it, eventually.

No pain no gain, right?

9:08 p.m. - 2011-07-09

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The past the present, and the future