All of my ramblings on one site

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I can see through the flames

That the fire cleanses me
Mind and soul, now the same
And my body guides the way

I had to give you up tonight

To drugs

To whores

To alcohol

We had plans

6 1/2 hours of work

You were on my mind the entire time

I get a call

You cancel

I let you go

Though you begged me not to

It was the right thing to do

The other night

You let a man roll a joint in my bathroom

You left me and your bestfriend to go smoke infront of my house

You called his girlfriend cute

You watch porn

After all I've tried doing to convince you I'd never fuck you over

You do all of these things

It was best that I let you go tonight

So now I'm here, just doing me

My minds made up

You're breaking my heart

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Rant101:

You're my last hope for people in general. I hate all of my friends. If you're going to do this to me, I'll have nothing left. I let you go because I'm not going to tell you what to you. I'm not going to make you leave a party to come and sit in my room and get drunk with your boring girlfriend. I'd rather you have fun with your drugs and whatever else you're doing right now. I'm not here to stop you. But I'm not sure I can trust you. I was..I was so sure you'd never do this to me. But now I'm not so sure. Writing this, I just want to give up on everything I've been putting myself into recently. For you, for me, for whatever reason. Work, school, staying good and faithful. Doing anything I can to make you happy. Giving up my FRIENDS for you. I told Alyssa she couldn't come over tonight because of you. And then you decide to cancel on me because I don't smoke. Because I'm not as cool as your friends. Because I'm a soul sucking alcoholic workaholic demond that you're so sick of.
Quit getting my hopes up about all of these amazing things you tell me. They obviously mean nothing to you. Quit lying to me. Do what you do.

I don't want to be here anymore. I never have, and I still don't want to be. I hate all of you. I don't know what I've ever done wrong to anyone. But it's always your drugs over everyone else. That's what brings everyone together. Not the quality of one another. So fuck you all. I'm done here. And I can't wait to leave you all behind.

Don't tell me you'll call. I know you won't. I know I won't see you tomorrow. I know that deep down you really don't care. Quit pretending already.

11:10 p.m. - 2011-05-29

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The past the present, and the future