All of my ramblings on one site ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Holy Miss Moley I Got a Live One I bought a bottle last night I've kept it hidden in the craft room with a bottle of grapefruit/lemon soda I think the prozac makes me feel less drunk than I should, so I had about 7 shots which in the past would have totally knocked me out. Normally my little two shot glass gets me nice and buzzed. I went with my classic, Kettle One Rose/Grapefruit. The shit is so good. I've been watching a lot of Dr. Honda. Tonight I rewatched House of 1000 Corpses for the millionth time. I'm embroidering a glass of milk. I've kind of given up on school and am looking at the long-haul career prospects at a big box store that has great benefits, all at the price of your soul. I have everything the common man could want. I'm living the American Dream. I still constantly think about running away and living in my car. My nice, roomy RAV 4 has so much trunk space. I'm constantly fantasizing about driving to California, only to be disappointed by the garbage and the stench. Providence has the same garbage and stench, but with great antique stores and colorful trees. Graveyard everywhere. I bought our annual Christmas plane tickets to Florida. I'm excited but also nervous about the obvious emotional toll it will have on me, like it always does. I'm always like "man, I don't wanna go." Then I get there, and I'm like "man, I don't wanna leave, I miss my family". Then I get home and feel like shit for weeks, then finally settle back in to my life in the north. My therapist noticed this pattern. It tears me apart, but I legit could never live in Florida again. It's one of those things, I guess, that seems to have a simple solution but really doesn't. I miss my family, but I hate where they live. If I could have them all move here, my life would be perfect. I hate spending the money I do to travel during the holiday. I wish I could have my parents or siblings over for dinner. But god, at what cost? I don't miss Florida at all. My two modes are: tiddies or no tiddies? Scrambled or over-easy? Stay or go? I'm not even a real person 10:38 p.m. - 2020-11-04 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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