All of my ramblings on one site
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The Druid's Prayer
1. Write about your name. Where did it come from? What does it mean?
- My parents originally wanted to name me Samantha (yuck- no offense other Samantha's). However, I guess they left it up to my at-the-time 3 year old brother, and he wanted to name me Briar Rose after his favorite movie (Sleeping Beauty- also, what a cool name that would have been!). My parents thought I would get bullied and called a 'prick', so they compromised and named me Brianna Rose. Lucky for my brother, Rose is an already established middle name. 2. When are where were you born?
-Stuart, Florida, in June of 1994. 3. Write about your mom. What would you want people to know?
-My mom is a REALLY hard worker. When I was a kid, my mom was kind of cold, didn't hug much, or play with me a lot. When she did, it felt superficial. As an adult, I realize that with three other kids, an alcoholic husband, and a full time job, she probably was exhausted all the time and didn't even realize I felt this way. When m parents got divorced, this only intensified and we fought a lot. Now, we have a wonderful relationship. I think mainly because I realize now a lot of the things she was going through, and how shitty I was with her to begin with. Teen angst is a bitch. My relationship with both of my parents has improved dramatically since I moved to Rhode Island. Due to the lack of time we have to talk or see each other, there is only time to make the best of our interactions and they're largely positive as a result. 4. Write about your dad. What would you want people to know?
-My relationship with my dad was complicated for a long time. When I was a kid, he was the affectionate parent. He would dance with us, laugh with us, throw us around, add in cuss words to our bed time stories, and let us watch movies that weren't age appropriate, and certainly not approved by my mom. I have a lot of fond memories of him from my childhood. However, he was screwed over by a business partner and lost a lot of money. This was the downfall of my fun, playful dad, and the birth of my scary, alcoholic, rage-laden dad. He was a really bad alcoholic for all of my late childhood into my earlier twenties. He was verbally, emotionally, and physically abusive. I remember hiding in my room with my little brother because my dad was drunk and pissed off, and had a machete that he was threatening us with. That was a horrifying time in my life and from a young age I had it set in my mind to move out as quickly as possible. I didn't care about school or getting a good job, I just needed to get out. However, I can thankfully say that my dad hasn't had a drink since March of this year and is finally taking steps to fix his declining health. I'm really proud of his turn around and I just hope he keeps going. I don't hold any of those things against him anymore. I went no contact for a few months when I first moved out of state, I needed time to get over all of this stuff. When we really started talking again, our relationship has never been better. We talk once a week and our conversations are never less than two hours long. He's incredibly supportive of me and always there for me when I need advice. 5. Do you have any siblings? Write about them.
-I have three. Spencer, my older brother. Hunter, my younger brother, and Morgan, my younger sister. Spencer and I were really close as kids, but as he started to get older and get "cool" friends, we kind of fell out of touch. He moved far away and we never got that same relationship back, but we always tell each other I love you when we talk like once a year.
Hunter is in jail for attempted murder and grand theft auto. He stole my sisters car on his way to murder my aunt, but thankfully the car caught fire and he never made it to his destination. He was always a bad kid, but with a big heart. He got in trouble a lot, and, to be honest, we all kind of saw this coming. In jail, he reads a lot of Stephen King books, which I'm really proud of him for doing, since he didn't even graduate highschool.
Morgan is on her own journey. We became close through the mutual love of Olan Rogers and music. She started listening to a lot of the bands that I liked and I took her to concerts. Since I moved, she's starting to become her own person and I'm really proud of her. We didn't talk for a while when I moved (I kind of cut everyone off because I was depressed and totally isolated myself), and I thought our relationship would never recover. She was finding herself, and so was I. This past summer she visited me and we had such a wonderful time, and I miss her so much every day. She's having boy problems at the moment, but she's smart and strong as hell, and I know she's going to get through this.
1:02 a.m. - 2019-09-12
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The past the present, and the future
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