All of my ramblings on one site ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Walk Like Thunder Today is the best day I've had in a long time. I went to my Interview/Intervention class and did really well on a quiz I totally forgot about and during the break (it's a two and a half hour class) I talked to two of my classmates who are SUPER NICE and this is a big deal for me because people don't usually like me right off the bat or ask me questions about myself as if they're actually interested in what I have to say. Then I came home and cleaned my car and bought a nice air freshener for it and ran into an old boss of mine and we talked for half a second but in that short time I made him laugh so again another hit for me as I normally feel like I have a weird sense of humor that no one really understands except my sister and Devin. Then I picked up my friend Reva from her campus and we went to Starbucks and talked for hours, then we had dinner together at Panera and talked for another couple of hours. What is great about this beyond the fact that I got to spend time with a friend is that I felt incredibly comfortable as I never have before spending time with her. The more I've become in-touch with my feelings and putting past events together, I show patterns of becoming best friends with really awful people which has it's spiraled into me shutting people out and probably subconsciously being socially awkward as a defense mechanism to ward off people who I could potentially become close to so as to not be hurt again. I've become so picky with people that if I found one thing I did not like I would totally drop them. I would just tell them I've been busy or I'm not feeling well and it would kind of fade off. Today with Reva was such a nice, comfortable and not forced experience. It feels so so good. I'm looking for mental health jobs that don't require a degree to get my foot in the door since I'll be graduating soon. I can't take it at Publix anymore. I really, really can't. I'm not growing. It's not even that it's hard, it's just so neutral and mind numbing. I lied and told my manager that I want to be a manager just so that I would get full time. And I did. Which in the Publix world is a huge accomplishment. But I don't feel like it is. It means my vacations are limited (duh), and I'll be getting kicked off my moms insurance in a few months. Insurance for just myself would be $67 a week. A WEEK. Anyhow, I'm over it. School is my happy place, the Human Services field is my happy place. It bothers me that I only have two classes and that the rest of my time is standing on my feet helping people that wouldn't care if I dropped dead in front of them. I can't find any jobs at any mental health facilities beyond bathing clients and answering phones. I'm going to keep looking though. Luke, if you have any recommendations please help. 2:03 a.m. - 2015-09-23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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