All of my ramblings on one site ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- We Coexist Tonight me and Devin went to the Pow Wow. It was so.. I felt like I needed to go there for my own good. The Native American Indian culture is so organic and appreciative. I feel like if I studied more into it like I have been with Hinduism (and all other branches of Smartism), I would learn more about myself. We bought Indian weed (except its not weed. It's a herb you can smoke or make into tea, but it's relaxing, no outer body experience), and a neat deer-bone one-hitter to go with it. Then I bought a rabbit skin pouch (I would have bought the full frog coin pouch except I don't make enough money. Who knew a frog would be so expensive?), indian bread, and some sort of skull that's really cool. I wish just for one week I could live like a Native American. That is the kind of spiritual journey I need to take. My first idea was to go for my bachelors and head off into the peace corp in India or Africa, but I value my own life too much. I just love the idea of living in a village with people who are okay with what they have. I need a break from America. Also, again, I don't make enough money for that. The things I am most interested in are pointless in the "real world". Why is it even called the "real world", when everything is based off of lies, advertising, kissing ass and money? The "real world" in my eyes is a village without tvs, crime, hatred, etc. That's the difference between reality and the "real world". White people ruined the real world for everyone. White people themselves are a false breed because their DNA is a melting pot. Everything about everything is fake, and I hate admitting that this is the place and time I live in. When will things look up? When will I get to stop living paycheck-to-paycheck? When can me and Devin have our own place and not worry so much about anything anymore? This year is the year I've changed most, and I'm just waiting to be able to put all of my potiential into effect. I feel like if I hold everything off (moving out, starting my life), I'll miss my opportunity to let the world know who I am and what I am capable of. I'm chasing dreams with hundred dollar paychecks weekly.. And NO ONE will hire Devin. I've seen his interviews in session, and he's impressive. I just want someone to give him a chance so we can do this. -=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- All of the things I've vowed to stay committed to have also really changed me. Proactive (my skin is going to be beautiful eventually), this 17 day diet (I've lost 7 lbs in 8 days), school (suriving on A's and B's), work (I'll be able to train for a higher position as soon as I hit 18, and I'll also be getting a raise around then), and Devin (except not difficult to commit to, my bestfriend in the whole world). I just hope it all pays off. I'm working so hard to keep my sanity and reality balanced. It's just so hard with so many manipulative and greedy people out there. I would never want to bring a child into such a shitty world. And I'm sorry to every baby that has been born after me.. You've got hell coming to you. I mean just look at how the school board is changing. Everything is changing so fast, and I'm glad that I'm getting out now. Anyway, that was my rant. Every thought incomplete and lacking detail. Peace and salutations to all. 12:49 a.m. - 2012-03-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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