All of my ramblings on one site

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Calcium Rain

I need to be cured. I need to find a therapist. I need to go to AA/NA with Mike. I need to remember to take my medication. Three times a day. Every day. Big fat black pill that tastes like tar. I choked on one this morning and almost vomited it up. What does that tell you? That I also need to get my gag reflexes checked out. I gag on everything now. Don't take that pervishly.
But anyhow, school was..well, school. I didn't think I'd get to see Mike tonight, so I bought a green Tilt and put on God of War 2, planning on beating it in one night if possible. In the middle of this, I hear my bedroom door open and Mike's there. We go back to his house and have a good night like we always do. When he dropped me off, as I was getting out of his car, a dark cloud robbed me of my great night with him that I didn't even think I'd get.
As I was getting to my door, he ran after me and we kissed goodnight for the five millionth time, and bid our dues. I nearly finished my whole drink and watched Animal Hoarding for an hour. Then I layed down and all of a sudden felt sick to my stomach.
But I keep telling myself if I keep acting like this, I'm going to ruin everything for myself. Mike, friends, work, school. Everything that I try my best to put my all in to will eventually be taken away from me via insanity and negitivity.
Just so everyone know, drugs and alcohol ruin everything.
I'll finish this later.

2:04 a.m. - 2011-01-15

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The past the present, and the future