All of my ramblings on one site

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fall into you is all I seem to do

Here's what I've written in my journal the past two days for English:

4/21
I'm in danger of failing the 9th grade. I promised Luke and my mom I'd make a 3.0+ this year, but I pretty much blew that off. So I'm not going to say "This nine weeks I'm REALLY REALLY going to do it!" Because I know I won't. I'm just going to stick to doing all my work and whatever.
I don't think I'm that stupid. School's just not that easy to everyone. And people who make all A's and B's wouldn't understand that. So reading this they could say "Just do the damn work and you'll pass." No. It's not that I don't do the work, it's that I don't understand. The only person who would actually understand what I'm talking about is my friend Jarrod. Who's also failing. The only difference is I sort of care. But I still fail.

4/22
My little brother has been seeing a family counselor for the past few weeks. He completly blows off the help offered though. Does he want to be angry for ever? If so, he'll be a nut when he gets older. I'll be the sister of another Charles Manson or Ted Bundy.
---------------------------------------
I ran out of time, so here's my unwritten continuation.


Anyhow, I asked my mom if I could see the lady he goes to, Louise. The only problem is, she's a 'family' counselor, and I..want to talk about more than family. I'd ask my mom if I could see a real Psyciatrist but I don't think she'd want to have to deal with two counselors, and going out of her way two times a week. When I could just go to Louise after she's done with Hunter. Less driving, and less aggrivation.
I told Luke about it and he said he was proud of me. I think my mom was too. I don't want my dad to know though. I'm not really letting anyone know except Luke and Jessica. People already probably think I'm a psycho. In the eyes of my peers I dress in all black. And I could tell you right now, I own no black pants, or shoes, and two black school shirts. And my jacket is black. I'm a real freak, huh?

My day started out good. I woke up and everything went well. Walked to the bus stop and joked with Ashley and Sean. Got on the bus, fell asleep. Got to school. Talked to Jarrod and Ryann. Then Luke came up and Jarrod and Ryann left. And me and Luke just had a nice convorsation. Idk. I'm lame. But it was a good way to start the day off. In first period I was the first to finish all my work, then I just talked to Sarah and ate her sour skittles. I got to second period (intensive reading) and we talked about jobs. For some reason I always get so exicited talking about my future. She made us write a list of questions to ask ourselves about our future jobs. How to determine what you really want to do. And how you'd want it to be. It excites me even though it's probably too good to be true. I think I really want to be a Cosmeotologist. Or an ultrasound technition. When I went to the lady who did my ultrasound, I thought it was really cool

---------------------------------------


Seemed to stop my breath
My head on your chest
Waiting to cave in
From the bottom of my...
Hear your voice again
Could we dim the sun
And wonder where we've been
Maybe you and me
So kiss me like you did
My heart stopped beating
Such a softer sin

(I'm melting, I'm melting)
In your eyes
I lost my place
Could stay a while

And I'm melting
In your eyes
Like my first time
That I caught fire
Just stay with me
Lay with me
Now

Never caught my breath
Every second I'm without you I'm a mess
Ever know each other
Trust these words are stones
why cuts aren't healing
Learning how to love

I'm melting (I'm melting)
In your eyes
I lost my place
Could stay a while
And I'm melting
In your eyes
Like my first time
That I caught fire
Just stay with me
Lay with me
(Stay with me lay with me now)

You could stay and watch me fall
And of course I'll ask for help
Just stay with me now
Take my hand
We could take our heads off
stay in bed just make love that's all
Just stay with me now

I'm melting (I'm melting)
In your eyes
I lost my place
Could stay a while
and I'm melting

In your eyes
Like my first time
That I caught fire
Just stay with me
Lay with me
In your eyes
I lost my place
Could stay a while
and I'm melting
In your eyes
Like my first time
That I caught fire
Just stay with me lay with me
(Stay with me, lay with me)

In your eyes
Let's sleep till the sun burns out
I'm melting in your eyes (I'm melting in your eyes)
Let's sleep till the sun burns out
I'm melting in your eye

10:34 a.m. - 2009-04-22

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The past the present, and the future

Photobucket

shit:
latest entry
about me
archives
notes
DiaryLand
contact
random entry

other diaries:

anorexicmeg
silencedsong
assholebaird

other shit:

myspace
post secrets
facebook
myhero