All of my ramblings on one site

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Lolz

I was just reading all of Luke's oldest entries. I was such a dick. I don't really get too jealous anymore, except with one person. But that's atleast a little bit reasonable. But damn, did we have bad times. And great times. I was reading about the time we went to Exodus, and he thought I was trying to make him an outcast, and I made him have a horrible time, and how he didn't think our kisses meant anything anymore. Yikes. Hopefully he doesn't still think that. But another event with his friends is coming up Friday, and I'm scared out of my wits. Alyssa will be there, and she's going to come home with me since she can't get a ride back to Lakewood Park, and then Ryanns coming over, too. I'm still scared. What if I say something dumb? What if I don't say anything at all? What if, what if, what if...

I'm quitting smoking, and cutting. And I'm going to work on bringing me grades back up so I don't disoppoint anyone again.. I let Luke down, and Jessica, and them both telling me that is only making me more stressed. I've been more into cutting recently than I've ever been.

That's why I'm making goals for myself. Jessica doesn't think I can do it. Not even in a kidding way. She must really think I'm a peice of shit. But I'll show her, and Luke and my parents too, that I can be more than what I am now. Hell, maybe I'll even turn Christian. No pun intended. Just sarcasm.

I want to do good and not talk like a frog, and not have to wear this wrist band the rest of my life. And I want to support myself and my family later in life. I don't think it's too late to turn myself around. Do you think it is?

I gtg, the bell's going to ring.

It's been a while since I've written in here.

Tata

10:59 a.m. - 2009-03-17

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