All of my ramblings on one site

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Share with me the blankets that you're rapped in..

My mom called for a counselor for me and my brother, but they only take people who live in Martin County. She cussed out the lady on the other end and chucked her phone in the back of the car. This went on a few weeks ago, and I never really thought anything of it until now. I think..I really needed it. I've gotten to the point where if there's anything sharp, I grab it. Where ever there's tobacco, I grab it. I can't rely on these things my whole life. I can't let Luke know what's going on..in fear that he'll think of me a different way and it'll just make things awkward..I know I should tell him what's on my mind, but I just can't. I think it'd be better to talk to someone who doesn't know me, maybe they'd have a better understanding than Luke or Jessica would. I'd feel more comfortable, too.
I keep coming up with these crazy conclusions as to why luke and alyssa don't talk anymore besides the fact he's 'an asshole' to her. I seriously, and honestly doubt with my whole life that's why they stopped talking. He may think I'm crazy. And I wish I had a way to prove it. Oh well.
I keep saying this, but I still dream of the day I can just get up and go to where the fuck ever. Not because I haet it here, because honestly the people are fine, it's just the hot weather that's annoying. But I just want a change of scene. You know...
I wish I didn't say such stupid things. I always for some reason either say something completly unessisary or something that makes me look stupid. It makes no sense. Maybe I just take things to personally, or other people do. Like the Warpedtour boards I just signed up for, rarely anyone agrees with what I have to say and it makes me feel really dumb. But then if Luke said it, everyone would be like what a genious.
Look, a chipmonk!

10:40 a.m. - 2009-03-09

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The past the present, and the future